Adults Funny Sms Biography
Source link Google.com.pkMan:
Can I Have SEX with my Pregnant Wife?
Doc:
Yes 3 Mnths Normal
Next 3 Like Dog
Last 3 Like Wolf?
Man:
How Does Wolf Do?
Doc:
Sleep near the Hole & Cry.
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Nokri aur chhokri…….
.
Nokri aap kabhi bhi CHHOD sakte ho.
Chhokri aap kabhi bhi CH OD
sakte ho.
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Husband- i m going out for 5 days..
wife- ok but don’t surprise me by coming back early, otherwise u wiLl bE surprised.
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Ak 16 saal ka ladka mar gaya.
mother said-Haye mere bache ne to abhi dunya b nahi dekhi thi.
a girl-aunti chinta mat karo maine dikha d thi
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Wife:pehle daily kartethe,fir weekly,ab monthly karte ho.
Hubad:Pehle teri aisi()thi,
fir aisi( )hui,
ab aisi( )ho gayi,ab kya sir dalu
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Ek sardar bike rok kar helmet khuja raha tha.
Ek admi: helmet utarke khujao.
Sardar: chup…jab teri g@nd me khujli aye to kya pent utarke khujata he..
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preeto: tere pati roz time pe kaise aatey hain?
jeeto: meine unse 1 baat clear kar di hai, sex raat ko 9 bajy hoga, chahey aap ho ya nahi.
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Honeymoon couple in Paris.
Wife-Shall we go to Effil tower 1st or the hotel room.
Husband- Pehle hotel room. Effil tower to kal bhi khada rahega.
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Suhagraat ko Hakle ne kha:Aa aa Aao na jaan Chu Chu chu chu chu..
Wife panty utarkar boli:Ab Chusle Chumle Ya Cho_dle per chu chu mat kar.
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Sabjiwale ki Shaadi hui. Suhag raat ko biwi ki Bra & Panty khol kar paani chidakane laga. Biwi boli- Ye kya kar rahe ho? Sabjiwala: Maal ko Taaza kar raha hoon.
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Husband on suhaagrat-Teri aankho mein doob jaaun, Teri zulfon mein kho jaaun, Tere jhumko pe jhool jaaun..
Wife- Thalle vi utrenga ke kise hor nu bulaawan ?
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Suhagrat k baad Biwi: Ye jo tumne andar ghusaya wo kya tha?
PATI: Ye mera munna tha
Biwi: ise bahar hi khelaya karo, andar garmi may ulti karta hai…
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Sardar Ji took da blanket n slept, his wife said: sardar ji there is a hole between my legs
Sardar: ohhh & I was thinking from where cool air is coming in da blanket
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On First Night..
Wife: ji aaj mera UPVAS hai.
husband: kya mere LUUUND pe AATA laga hai jo tera UPVAS tut jayega..
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Suhagrat ko pati ne patni se pucha.. “kya mehsus kar rahi ho?”
Patni= aajtak TOP_UP me kam chalta tha aaj se LIFETIME kar lia hai jindagibhar INCOMING free..
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1 Khara Lu nd Ki Qeemat Tum Kia Jano
Babu
Har Larki Ka Khwab Hota Hai
1 khara Lu nd
Har Suhagan Ki Cho ot Ka Taj Hota Hai
1 khara Lu nd
Har Ran di K Dhande Ka Raaz Hota Hai
1 khara Lu nd
Aur Tum Jaise Gan du on Ki gaa nd Phaar Deta Hai
1 khara Lu nd
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Sita: 1st night kaisi rahi?
GiTA: Pehle salwar khile pe,
fir kamiz,
fir bra,
fir panty khile pe.
Sita: Fir?
Gta: fir mein b khile pe
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height of REQUEST n BRAVERY together.
wife on suhag raat: plz abhi sex nahi karenge ji, mein pregnant hu.
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Santa: I divorced my wife on the first night..
Banta: Why?
Santa: I saw the label on her panties “OK TESTED - GULRAJ & SONS”
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Frst 4 days of girls:
1. Love me ,Don’t t!ouch me.
2. Touch me ,Don’t kiss me.
3. Kiss me ,Don’t fu ck me.
4. Fu ck me ,Don’t forget me.
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Child:Mom
is bar hum sare patakhe is shop se lenge.
Mom:lekin beta ye to girls hostel hai.
Child:Papa to kehte hain k sari phul-jhadiya yahi rehti he
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1 bar 1 Buddi aurat mela dekhne Gai.
Mele me uske beg me koi bomb rakh gya.
1 aadmi bola bomb buddi bomb.
Buddi-bhai ab kaha ki bomb,
bo
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Arz hai
Teri Yad Mai
Hame Dast Lag Gae
thora ghor farmae
teri yaad mai
hame dast laggae
Ye bhi to anso hain
bus raste badal gae.
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Ladke wale ladki ka hath kab mangtey hain?
Ans-
Jab ladke ka hath thak jata hai
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girl:wo kia hai jo lrki pehli dafa krwate hue pain
ki waja se roti hai?
pappu:kaan mai ched
MORAL:aap b apni soch pappu ki tarah saf rakhe
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Custmer:My wife needs a Bra but I dont know d size.
Salegrl:Touch my breast n try to calculate
Custmer:Oh I forgot she needs panties too
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1 aadmi ne paper me Ad di
“ladka paida karne ka tarika batao”
RPLY aye
Bengali-Biwi ko Fish do
Himachali-Apple do
Gujrati-1 moka hame do
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Wo ap ki kon c cheez he jiska istemal ap nhi dusre bahot karte he!
Oye! tera nam yar…
tu g@nd samjha tha na
Chal koi bat nhi,hota he
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Wife-meri bra utaro
Husband-ye le
Wife-ab panty bhi utaro
Husband-ye bhi le
Wife- “khabardar agar aage se mere undrgrmnts pehne
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Muth maarne ne 10 fayede:
1-Self Reliance
2-Time convenience
3-Prevention of crime
4-Mental choice of lady
5-No risk of AIDS
6-No special place required
7-No wastage of cash
8-Easy to perform
9-No fear of early ejaculation
10-Guaranted
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why are girls more successful in SHARE MARKET?
bcoz they know
NICHE MEIN LENA HAI
OR UPAR MEIN DENA HAI
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1 boy doin sex with call girl
BOY- daily kitna kama leti ho?
CalGirl- 2000
BOY- Sach batao
CalGirl- Roji pe baithi hu, juth nahi bolungi
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Santa: me har ek ladki ka badi IZZAT se SANMAAN karta
hu..!
Banta: wo kaise ?
Santa: uske ane se pahle hi
CON DOM pahan le ta hu…!
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16girls Swiming pool me naha rahi thi,achanak!
Pool ka sara pani sukh gaya!
Pucho Q?
Yahi he asli WHISPER ka kamal
Gilepan ki chhutti
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Guy in lov wid Girl askd her 4 S.E.X.
Girl:”Apne bahut badi cheez mangi hai…”
Boy: “Agar itni badi hai to rahene do.
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girl-1 sasti c breazer dena
salesman-g 60 ki
Girl-or sast
g 30 ki
or sasti
g 20 ki
or sasti
chotu! in ko 2 botal k dakan or sutli de
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A raand wearing jeans in a train, man saw her zip open says:
‘Madam, ur LIPS are opened…’
Woman: ‘Yeah, they want a cigarette…’!
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malkin or nauker kidnap hue, or dono ka R A P E hua.
police: tumne unka chehra dekha tha?
nauker: malkin se pucho, mujhe to ULTA kiya tha.
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Boy-dadaji kya padh rahe ho. Dadaji-beta itihas boy-yeh to sex ki kitab lagti hai.
dadaji : beta mere liye to sex itihas hi bankar rah gaya
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